It is not racism to want your children to look like you
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Duane 'Dog' Chapman
taggert66 — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 07:42 AM)
He should not have used the N-word but as a black female I forgive him and understand where he is coming from. I look at my child and she looks just like me? So why is it racism for a white person to want the same thing?
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PurpleNiobe — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 08:39 AM)
Of course you do realize your grandchildren can look like you and not be the exact same skin color as you, right?
My nieces and nephews are proof of that. My sister in law, my brother in law and my stepsister all married and had children with a white person, and there is a lot of their grandparent in them.
When the hurly-burly's done. When the battle's lost and won. -
paul-2219 — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 09:32 AM)
It's a little ridiculous. Parents of all races tend to want their children to marry someone of similar skin color, language, religion, nationality, political persuasion, etc. I know some parents don't care, but let's face it, if we heard about a black man telling his daughter he didn't want her marrying a honky, there would be nothing but the sound of crickets nationwide.
"Can he swing from a thread? No he can't, he's a pig." -
directacting — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 01:01 PM)
if we heard about a black man telling his daughter he didn't want her marrying a honky, there would be nothing but the sound of crick5b4ets nationwide.
It's yet another example of this phenomenon that exists where something that's deemed racist when it's whites saying it about blacks, but completely okay when blacks say it about whites.
There are plenty of examples of that sort of thing on the board right now, like those who've written that ALL white people are evil racists. They think nothing of saying that out loud, but they'd have a real problem if I wrote that all blacks are potential criminals.
I've talked to a couple of black friends about this, and apparently many in the black community think that racism only goes one way. i.e. against blacks. When something is said or done against whites, it's apparently considered something other than racism. -
PurpleNiobe — 18 years ago(November 13, 2007 09:27 AM)
I dont know if that was directed at me or not but I never claimed I was incapable of racism. I wouldnt claim to be incapable of homophobia just because I have a lot of gay friends either. But I do go out of my way to give people the benefit of the doubt beyond what their skin color happens to be.
And I hate the term reverse racism Racism is racism, IMHO.
When the hurly-burly's done. When the battle's lost and won. -
PurpleNiobe — 18 years ago(November 13, 2007 10:07 AM)
For all I knew that could have been directed at me since I had previously had a conversation about how I paint everyone with the same brush. Now I know it wasnt directed at me, so no biggie.
I have met people who believe racism can only be against minorities, and minorities can only be Prejudiced. I think I even read somewhere that some people believe that racism can only come from the race in the position of power and dominance, and many people think that means white men. I even know that some people think that minorities have the right to be racist after centuries of being persecuted.
I dont share the same thinking, because I believe all it does is lead to each race getting angrier and angrier at the other, and nothing ever changes.
When the hurly-burly's done. When the battle's lost and won. -
taggert66 — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 05:03 PM)
Yes I realize that but what I am saying is what is wrong with wanting your child to look exactly like you. I have nieces and nephews both black and white and I love them all the same. But there are people out there who do not like to date outside their race what is wrong with that? I have friends like that we get along just fine and we hang out and go to each others house and our children play together.
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PurpleNiobe — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 05:43 PM)
I guess I really don't have any problem with it either as long as family members don't treat the children cruel just because the child doesn't look like them.
I don't even have a problem with someone who does not date outside thier race. Some people are just attracted to thier own race and that's just fine. It's the people who don't do it because "Those people are violent and always getting into trouble" or "Those people aren't to be trusted" or "Thier blood is sickly and you'll have sickly children" or the many other silly reasons I've heard come out of people's mouths that bother me.
I'm not saying Dog has said/done any of this. But sometimes there is more to it than just wanting your kids to look like you.
When the hurly-burly's done. When the battle's lost and won. -
paul-2219 — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 08:10 PM)
"I'm not saying Dog has said/done any of this. But sometimes there is more to it than just wanting your kids to look like you"
Fair enough and I agree. But can you honestly say that you are as upset when a black parent tries to discourage an inter-racial marriage as you are when a white parent does so? Do you paint each of them with the same racism brush?
"Can he swing from a thread? No he can't, he's a pig." -
PurpleNiobe — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 08:33 PM)
Fair enough and I agree. But can you honestly say that you are as upset when a black parent tries to discourage an inter-racial marriage as you are when a white parent does so? Do you paint each of them with the same racism brush?
I would most certainly paint everyone with the same brush just like I've been raised to do. I wholeheartedly believe that people should date someone who makes them feel loved and secure and skin color should be one of the last things people think aboutunless 5b4that person is purple with green stripes or something.
The only time I can remember being angry at one of my black friends dating someone white was because I overheard him say some nonsense like "Black women have too bytchy", but I wasn't mad at his girlfriend, I was mad at him. I felt like his comment was more of an insult to women in general than it was towards black women, as IMHO I felt like he was looking for a doormat to date and felt white women where a better option for that.
And once I stopped seeing a white guy I was semi dating becuase I got tired of him saying various things like "I like brown suger" and "Chocolate caramel girl" which indicated to me that he was more interested in the idea of dating a black girl than who I was as a person.
Did any of that make sense?
When the hurly-burly's done. When the battle's lost and won. -
paul-2219 — 18 years ago(November 12, 2007 09:19 PM)
"Did any of that make sense?"
Very good sense. You know you are at the wrong forum and thread, there's nothing but anger and ignorance and racism here. You belong elsewhere:) You know, there are so few perfectly righteous and immaculate people around. I had thought I was the only one, but now, I am damn near certain of it.
:):)
"Can he swing from a thread? No he can't, he's a pig." -
PurpleNiobe — 18 years ago(November 13, 2007 08:41 AM)
Very good sense. You know you are at the wrong forum and thread, there's nothing but anger and ignorance and racism here. You belong elsewhere:)
Thats very nice of you to say! Thank you. I think Im a glutton for punishment. Whenever a situation like this ha1c84ppens I find myself drawn to the discussion only to find myself getting more and more frustrated because everyone seems to be looking to one up the other. Its much easier to discuss this topic outside of the internet. Ive found people seem to be a lot choosier with the way the say things when everyone is face to face.
You know, there are so few perfectly righteous and immaculate people around. I had thought I was the only one, but now, I am damn near certain of it.
You must be, because Im no where near immaculate!
When the hurly-burly's done. When the battle's lost and won. -
tsw453 — 18 years ago(November 17, 2007 10:25 AM)
Sorry taggert but I can't agree with you. I wouldn't call your post racist by a long shot but I do feel it is a very close minded and backwards way to be. Would you not love your grandchildren regardless of what color they are? And how selfish is it for the grandparent to want the grandchild to look like them when it isn't even their child?
Secondly, DOG's comment had nothing to do with what you stated. All I heard was he didn't want to make a mistake and say the word "N" in front of a f$*ng "N". Then went on to say he will disown his son for dating a black girl. Had he said he did not want to accidently say "N" in front a black person it may not have sounded as harsh but he called her a f#*ng "N"! Dog is a racist period. -
taggert66 — 18 years ago(November 20, 2007 08:08 AM)
Yes I would love my children regardless of what color they are. What I am trying to say is what is wrong with being proud of your race? When you treat everybody with dignity and respect. I friend of mine wanted to adopt a child so she placed an ad in the paper. The ad stated that she only wanted to adopt a white child because she is white. What is wrong with that? People should be allowed to have their personal preferences.
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paul-2219 — 18 years ago(November 20, 2007 08:04 PM)
"As race doesn't exist it is morally and ethically wrong to demand the presence or requirement of a certain skin colour in any situation."
So I take it you are ethically opposed to such practices as black-focused affirmative action, black-only schools and scholarships, African-American Achievement Awards shows, "Black Pride" events, etc.? All bad?
"Can he swing from a thread? No he can't, he's a pig."