Stalking REALLY?
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — St. Elmo's Fire
NOTACLERK1 — 10 years ago(March 10, 2016 02:49 AM)
Stalking has to be the most over used term..Back in the day guys were not quite the Pussies they are today. If you loved a woman you pursued and tried to win her. If she said nomove on and throw down with Air Upply and Journey Albums and get over it.
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Bilwick1 — 9 years ago(September 13, 2016 01:43 PM)
No, he was stalking. I know because I did something like this back in the day and the woman was creeped out. I did nothing "untoward" (to use an old-fashioned expression), but was probably one step away from a restraining order. I didn't realize how creepy I was behaving until much, much later, when I read a book (I forget the title and the authors, but each chapter discussed how a Great Book taught us something about relationships) where one chapter discussed THE GREAT GATSBY. I had long identified with Gatsby, but when the authors discussed his character in the context of stalking, it suddenly hit me over the head what a dunce I'd been.
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tsheehan-86345 — 9 years ago(September 13, 2016 02:08 PM)
You make a compelling point. I assume your story is similar to Kirby's to one degree or another. It also shows impressive growth to admit this so count me as impressed. Maybe the truth is somewhere in middle. I'm not trying to be argumentative, it's just my own experience is quite the opposite. I regret not putting myself out there a little more. I just quit way too quickly and discovered later in life that women sometimes do change their minds. One time a friend tried to set me up with a girl and she liked another friend of mine more. I just let that be the end. Well her and that guy didn't work out and I was way too proud to give it another shot. Oh well, got to learn somehow.
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Bilwick1 — 9 years ago(September 15, 2016 12:54 PM)
The experience made me come up with my own rule of thumb regarding women: three strikes and they're out. Or perhaps more accurately: three strikes and I'm out. The young woman I was semi-stalking in the old days always had a good reason for not going out with me (although we did occasionally see each other socially, sometimes with friends and sometimes just the two of us), so I'd always give her a chance. Se seemed to be unusually busy with career and family. But then one day she told me she was living with a guy. So unless this guy just showed up at her doorstep out of the blue one day, she obviously had found time to date someone . . . just not me. I wouldn't be surprised if my perpetual begging for slivers of her time didn't come across as needy.
In later years if a woman gave me three excuses, however valid-sounding, and didn't come up with an alternate plan ("I'm having oral surgery this Saturday, but I will be available the Friday after. . . ."), I'd stop trying. At least I'd have my dignity intact.