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Best Line In Soap

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    #41

    WehoSteve — 19 years ago(June 02, 2006 08:14 PM)

    I always laugh when Billy's suicidal ex-teacher/lover unexpectedly enters the room trying to kill herself: "This time I'm gonna do it! This time I'm REALLY gonna do it!" I quote this line all the time and no one ever gets it.

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      caladon — 19 years ago(June 03, 2006 09:38 PM)

      I've always liked this line:
      It takes place in the episode of the baby's exorcism:
      Just before Tim goes upstairs to battle the devil, he gives Benson the name of another priest and says:
      Tim: If anything happens to me, call him.
      Benson: I'm sure when he finds out how you died, he'll rush right over.

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        Algae723 — 19 years ago(June 10, 2006 07:39 AM)

        I can't believe no one said this one yet. It was from the first season and the police chief was trying to find out who murdered Peter.
        It went something like this:
        Police Chief: Our next suspect is Benson.
        Benson: Why me?
        Police Chief: Because your black.
        Benson: Alright, understandable.
        Police Chief: And your the butler, there's a reason for the say "the butler did it." Our next suspect it Jodie.
        Jodie: Me? Why me?
        Police Chief: Because your gay.
        Benson: That's almost as good as my reason.
        Police Chief: And everyone knows how weird those types are.
        That is by far my favorite episode, it's hilarious.
        I also like the part when the police chief goes, "I the peace of chilief."
        This shows hilarious!

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          andy3472 — 19 years ago(June 10, 2006 01:04 PM)

          Beatlefan 723
          I agree, i would have to say this episode is probably my favourite one too.
          Many great lines and so many from the Piece of Chlief Tinkler.
          Don't forget these ones:
          "Where, when, why, how and who? That's a H and four W's!"
          "He was stabbed, shot, strangled, suffocated and bludgeoned. That's four S's and a B!"
          "No, it's impossible for a blind woman to shoot with that kind of accuracy."
          "Mrs Campbell, there's no reason in the world to suspect you. Therefore i suspect you."
          "I couldn't murder anybody, i couldn't even spank the children when they were bad."
          "There has been a murder."
          "Another one?!"
          "Sooner or later we all have to go."
          "And some not soon enough."
          All great stuff!!!!

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            #45

            hannah528 — 19 years ago(June 13, 2006 03:14 PM)

            Tinkler: (something to the extent of) Could you get the kid to leave the room?
            Chester: Billy, go upstairs.
            Billy: Why? This is about violence, not sex!
            (Polly and Danny are in the laundromat kissing and people are staring)
            Danny: Hey! They're staring at us!
            Polly: Well, we're kissing.
            Danny: No, that's not it. They're staring because we're a bisexual couple!

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              #46

              Steve_Just_D_Stevenson — 19 years ago(June 17, 2006 11:12 PM)

              Chuck/Bob, Danny, Burt, and I believe Jodie are all out drinking at a bar. Bob passes out and his legs are hanging off the table swinging. Everyone else gets up leaving Bob there passed out, the waitress/bartender asks them who is paying the tab. They all look at Bob, and say "he is."

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                #47

                coolrockin16 — 19 years ago(July 05, 2006 07:49 AM)

                Bob: Mucho gusto, El Puerco.
                El Puerco: Estas muy amable.
                Bob: Gracias. Vamos a ver aqui con
                Chester: Chuck, what are they saying?
                Chuck: I don't know. I don't speak Spanish.
                Jessica: How's Leslie?
                Billy: She's fine.
                Jessica: And Saunders?
                Billy: Leslie shot him in the temple.
                Jessica: I didn't know he was Jewish.

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                  #48

                  disturbedtool68 — 19 years ago(July 21, 2006 01:01 PM)

                  When Chester has amnesia and he assumes the role of Cookie the chef at a diner.
                  Waitress: Hey Cookie, are you just going to let those eggs fester on the plate?!
                  Chester/Cookie: Fester Plate. Chester. Plate. I'm Chester Plate! No? Wait I'M CHESTER TATE!!!

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                    brendanchenowith — 19 years ago(July 31, 2006 07:40 AM)

                    When Jessica's murder trial is wrapping up and she addresses the jury:
                    Could you please make up your minds in a hurry? I can't stand another day with that man (the Judge)
                    No good.lousy - - a BEAST! OUT!!!!

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                      #50

                      rebound4july — 19 years ago(October 29, 2006 02:53 PM)

                      A few of my favourites:

                      • When Burt thought he had only 6 months to live, and wanted to get in the Guinness Book of Records before he died. Danny makes a few dumb suggestions like "tallest man", "fattest man". Then he starts leafing through the book looking a better idea and goes "Hmmmguess you can`t be the oldest man."
                      • When Jessica was in jail and Benson goes to visit her. A hooker who was in the same jail walks by and goes "Hi Benson."
                      • It`s not a quote, but the entire scene where Jodie filming a commercial for a brand of cereal which featured two guys, one dressed as a giant flake and the other dressed as a raisin, in a giant bowl of milk. Just hilarious from start to finish.
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