http://aghnerds.tumblr.com/post/4018600694/darren-criss-has-a-girlfrie nd
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Kaskinen — 10 years ago(May 17, 2015 03:13 PM)
It goes both ways. Just because a guy says she's gay doesn't necessarily mean he's "really" gay. He just may prefer guys. Doesn't mean he's exclusively attracted to them. Most men have a strong sexual preference for one gender, but that doesn't mean that there aren't those who can be attracted to both. Preferences can also change. Thus, we'll always have men and women coming out as "gay", leaving their opposite sex spouse/partner. Bisexuality, especially male bisexuality, is a very misunderstood and taboo subject. Most men don't want to label themselves as bi, even though they're capable of being attracted to both men and women. I don't care what people label 5b4themselves as.
Actions speak louder than words/labels.
And actions/practice aren't necessarily representative of the person's sexuality. Like the person you responded said, dating women and have sex means absolutely nothing. The vast majority of gay men around the world marry women because there aren't a lot of options for them (and even if they are, it's still difficult). Also, the claim that most men don't want to label themselves "bi" isn't necessarily true. I find a lot gay men try to use the "bisexual" label before just admitting they're gay because apparently anything is better than being gay. If anyone is likely to avoid labeling themselves as "bi", it's actual bisexual men themselves who opt for the "straight" label. Remember Boy George's Culture Club bandmate who was upset when he was revealed as being bisexual in his autobiography? He preferred to be just known as straight. Hell, even a lot of gay men I've met from working in psychological counseling still insist on call themselves "straight." I would imagine people that come out as "gay" after leaving their opposite sex partner are more than likely gay, not bisexual. When Ricky Martin came out and Oprah called him "bisexual" for his relationships with women, he specifically corrected her and said he's gay and has always been.
You made a good point about bisexuality, but I'm not too sure sexuality is fluid like you mentioned, especially for men.5b4 Also, if there is a "stronger sexual preference for one gender," the lesser attraction is likely not to be significant. When it is, I'm sure that qualifies as "bisexual."
In any case, it would a lot of easier if people just stopped lying, but we all know they can't. There's still a strong stigma attached to homosexual attraction and most gay/bi people (especially men) around the world do anything to cover it up and avoid the truth. -
mual1977 — 10 years ago(May 26, 2015 03:35 PM)
And actions/practice aren't necessarily representative of the person's sexuality. Like the person you responded said, dating women and have sex means absolutely nothing. The vast majority of gay men around the world marry women because there aren't a lot of options for them (and even if they are, it's still difficult). Also, the claim that most men don't want to label themselves "bi" isn't necessarily true. I find a lot gay men try to use the "bisexual" label before just admitting they're gay because apparently anything is better than being gay. If anyone is likely to avoid labeling themselves as "bi", it's actual bisexual men themselves who opt for the "straight" label. Remember Boy George's Culture Club bandmate who was upset when he was revealed as being bisexual in his autobiography? He preferred to be just known as straight. Hell, even a lot of gay men I've met from working in psychological counseling still insist on call themselves "straight." I would imagine people that come out as "gay" after leaving their opposite sex partner are more than likely gay, not bisexual. When Ricky Martin came out and Oprah called him "bisexual" for his relationships with women, he specifically corrected her and said he's gay and has always been.
You made a good point about bisexuality, but I'm not too sure sexuality is fluid like you mentioned, especially for men. Also, if there is a "stronger sexual preference for one gender," the lesser attraction is likely not to be significant. When it is, I'm sure that qualifies as "bisexual."
In any case, it would a lot of easier if people just stopped lying, but we all know they can't. There's still a strong stigma attached to homosexual attraction and most gay/bi people (especially men) around the world do anything to cover it up and avoid the truth.
I agree that women tend to be more fluid in their sexuality, but, like I said, most men don't want to label themselves as bi - even though they are. I feel like queer women tend to be more 50/50, while queer/bisexual men tend to almost be at the extremes of the spectrum, thus they don't see the point in labeling themselves as being any other than straight or gay.
As for people who leave their opposite sex partner always being gay, that depends on the individual. For a lot of queers being gay is a political thing. They feel like they're making a statement by focusing on their gay side. I know about "gay" guys who occasionally sleep with women and find women sexually attractive, but their overall attraction (emotional and physical) is geared towards men. If you ask them about their sexual orientation, they're going to say they're gay. They themselves know it's not the whole truth, but they just don't feel like explaining the complexities of their sexual orientation to every random person they meet. I think this is the case for a lot of the bisexual/queer people who married someone of the opposite sex, had children and then came out as "gay". Especially if they had children and a normal sex life with their opposite sex partner. If they almost never had sex with their opposite sex partner/spouse (or had a very dysfunctional sexual relationship), then I'll buy that there was no attraction there and that they're trb68uly gay. -
EveryIDHasApparentlyBeenTaken — 11 years ago(February 15, 2015 05:08 PM)
I read on one of those blind gossip websites that he's bi. He has't come out as such because it would apparently hurt his career (can't see how). The blind also said his relationship with Mia was a PR thing, in order to help him keep the image of a straight man. It didn't start out that way, but that's what it is right now a2000nd Darren hates it, according to that site. I'm sure that's all 100% true coming from such a reputable source, so I'd just accept it as fact without question. Obviously.
Personally, I don't care, who he bangs is his business. He's a talented dude, I like him & wish him the best.